Have you ever been in a situation where it feels like your whole heart has shattered like Humpty Dumpty and can never be put back together again? Have you felt that continuous sharp pain in your heart that makes it seem like you are about to have a heart attack? Or have you just had that experience that makes you resolve not to love any other human anymore? If your answers to any of these questions are ‘yes’, then I guess I have to say ‘Congratulations! You have experienced heartbreak.’ If your answers are ‘no’, then I hope for your sake that you do not encounter one.
Anyway, experienced or not, we all know a bit or two about heartbreaks, either from personal experiences, movies, books or the experience of a friend or family member.
Have I ever had my heart broken? the answer is YES. And its even worse when you trust them entirely, (Ladies you know what I’m talking about) when there would be nothing you would do for that person and then they do something that shatters that illusion.
The heartbreaks that we go through sometimes, makes us think that we are probably not worthy to be loved and this could lead to loss of self-esteem, depression and sometimes, people go as far as committing suicide because they can no longer bare the pains of heartbreak.
Well, I am here to tell you that a heartbreak; no matter how painful it may seem or how much you loved the person that broke your heart; should never be the end of your life. I may not be able to take away your pain as much as I want to, but there are certain tips I can share with you, that would make going through heartbreak much easier and less painful.
1. Acknowledge the situation
The first thing you should do is to acknowledge and admit to yourself that you are heartbroken – sometimes, you would cry aloud alone in your room. This is the time where you hurt the most. Once you let this pain out, I can assure you, it gets easier.
Most of us tend to be in denial for a while after a breakup, still wishing and hoping that he would call you back and tell you it was all a mistake and that he still loves you and wants you.
Truth is, none of that is likely to happen, so you need to acknowledge that a relationship you loved with all your heart has come to an abrupt end and start thinking of how to move forward, rather than wallowing in the memories that you planned on creating with him.
This is not going to be an easy task, but you are going to have to do this, for the good of your sanity and that of your emotional and mental wellbeing.
2. You are not alone
After coming in terms with the reality of the heartbreak, the next thing is to understand that you are not alone. Most times, in times of pain, we need assurance that we are not going through it alone, knowing others who share the same heartbreak with you could be really helpful with your healing process. The Internet has made it easier to link up with several people going through the same pain as you, so you can simply check the internet to see how people are handling their own heartbreaks.
3. Take it one day at a time.
Honestly, some days would be worse than others, you may just see two people walking hand in hand looking lovey-dovey and then the memories of your broken relationship comes flooding back. So take things one day at a time or better still one moment at a time, because soon enough, the bad days would get fewer and fewer till you don’t feel the pain anymore. Don’t ignore the pain, go through each emotion as they come and try to figure them out, feel them, till these emotions have no stronghold on you anymore.
4. Reach out
You will still need a bit of physical assurance that someone still loves you and you would be fine. So go on and reach out to family and friends and let them use their words of comfort to make you feel better. Don’t shut them out during heartbreaks, because they would also want to show you their love and be there for you.
5. Create
If there was a dictionary for heartbroken people, the word CREATE would be the most important word in it. You are at your most creative when going through pain, so don’t let all that creative energy go to waste. Personally, my therapy for heartbreaks is to write. I can write on any surface or scrap of paper that I find and surprisingly, whatever I write during these times are usually the best of my works because they are usually witty, funny and filled with emotions. You can also draw, paint or sew. Anything at all that would help you make use of the pent up emotions in you.
Keep to your routine. Don’t put your life on hold because of a heartbreak, go to work, do your chores, meet with friends; but don’t stop doing what you usually do. This might be a bit tricky especially if you are used to spending a substantial amount of time with your ex-partner, try to fill up those spaces and times spent with him with as many activities as you can.
C.S Lewis once said, ‘Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.’
So, don’t hold on to the previous relationship, the fact that your heart hurts so much shows that you have loved so deeply too, but once that phase is over, you need to let go of it so that you can move on with your life.
Much Love
