The dark phase is a time in life everyone would have to go through. The major focus, however, is not on how many people that share the darkness with you, but rather, it is on how long you decide to remain in the darkness and how well you are able to handle it.
The need to find oneself even when surrounded by darkness cannot be over-emphasized as it is this discovery of self that leads to the illumination of one’s path out of the darkness.
One of my favourite quotes by Thomas Szasz goes, “People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not one something finds, it is something one creates.”
This quote has raised a couple of questions; what exactly does it mean to find oneself? How does one create/discover oneself? The discovery of oneself could range through many factors from morality and political consciousness to emotional maturity; the list could go on and on. The inability of one to get comfortable and content with one’s inner-self could be very displeasing, as it plunges one into a state of darkness that could lead to hate for self, depression and in most cases, suicide.
These consequences may seem too farfetched or too close to you depending on how far gone you are, but they are real, and it’s something that creeps up on you during the state of darkness.
Are things not to be going well for you? Are you constantly unhappy? Are there things that make you doubt the reason for your existence? If yes, then there is a need for self-discovery in the midst of these thoughts as it just would help you solve these raging questions.
This is where the second part of the question gotten from Thomas Szasz’s quote comes in, ‘How does one create oneself?’ This is not a question with an automatic answer since as human beings, we are surrounded by a variety of characters, therefore, what leads one on the path of self-discovery may not work for another. That said, there are several things one needs to do in order to get to the path of self-discovery even in the darkness.
You have to begin with learning to appreciate yourself. This may sound very cliché, but you cannot go far in self-discovery without it. The ability to appreciate yourself should come from within, it could begin by noticing little things about yourself which could be the colour of your eyes, the beauty in your smile and so many more. You would notice that I have not mentioned anything really big, this is because self-appreciation begins with the very little things you notice and appreciate about yourself, it is these little things that then transform to the big things.
Next to appreciating yourself, you should also take mind of your spirituality. This will involve you digging deeper as to the reason for your faith. Most times the things we believe in have a huge influence on our self-discovery. Questions like; what do I believe in? Why do I believe in this? What has my belief in this led me to? How does my belief influence my total well-being? These are questions that should be answered when reaching out to discover oneself, you would definitely be headed somewhere by the time you are done answering these questions properly.
Not to forget that, nature has a great deal of influence in our self-discovery. Visit beautiful sights, take a walk down the block, notice the humming of the birds, notice the splash of colours on the flowers, listen to the still lake, these are examples of how well you can appreciate nature.
There is a common belief that everyone is connected to nature, as we are all part of it, so on the journey to self-discovery, you need to appreciate these little ‘blessings’ that nature provides to us daily. It could help to lift your mood, fuel your positivity and so on.
While you get attached to nature, also get attached to yourself. Take care of your body, eat healthier, take up sports or workout sessions, start a yoga class, engage in meditation. These things contribute in helping one to get a grasp of oneself. You would discover that a minor or major change in lifestyle could do a great deal in helping you discover yourself.
Take notes. This would involve you keeping a journal or an online diary. The importance of taking notes is that it helps you to keep track on yourself. This, of course, would include improvement and progress in certain areas of your life. It also would include the various times you have made mistakes and what led you to make those mistakes, this is very essential as it prevents you from making these mistakes all over again.
The beautiful thing about keeping personal notes is that you get to discover your inner writing ability, most times you find out that these notes you keep on yourself are very helpful to your overall growth and mental state.
Spend quality time alone. This point can really not be overemphasized as there is a crucial need for some alone time especially when you are trying to find yourself in dark times. Take time away from the rowdiness of your personal life and spend time with yourself. You can begin small by having five to ten minutes of prayer, meditation or reflection in the early hours of the morning you can then move to bigger things like yoga, solo vacations, retreats and so on. The essence of this is to understand yourself better and go through your thoughts properly so that you do not lose yourself in these dark times.
As said earlier, the discovery of oneself cannot be over-emphasized and it something that should occur personally and out of awareness of self so that whenever the darkness comes (as it would come), you would not be swallowed up by it and it will definitely not last long with you. Self-discovery is a continuous process that will come in very handy in trying times.
Much Love
