There are two forms of a narcissism personality trait:
1. Grandiose Narcissism
2. Vulnerable Narcissism
There is also narcissistic personality disorder, a more extreme form.
Grandiose Narcissism
Grandiose Narcissism pursues attention and powers sometimes as politicians, celebrities, or cultural leaders, but the most common ones are found at organizations’ higher strata.
Of course, not everyone who pursues this possession of power is narcissistic; many do it for very positive reasons such as reaching their full potentials or helping make people’s lives better, but narcissistic individuals seek power for the status and attention that goes with it.
It is the most familiar kind characterized by
· Extroversion
· Dominance
· Attention Seeking
Vulnerable narcissist
They can be quiet and be strong. They have a strong sense of entitlement but are easily threatened. In either case, the dark side of Narcissism shows up over the long term
Signs to spot a narcissist
· Narcissists tend to act selfishly. Narcissistic trait carriers may make risky or unethical decisions, and narcissistic love partners may be dishonest or unfaithful People
· They have a tendency to speak about themselves and rarely listen to other people’s ideas.
· They take credit for other people’s work and blame others for their own mistakes. They have empathy problems
· They are less able to build meaningful and deep connections with others.
· They pay a great deal of attention to their look and appearance, to the point of seeming vane. A need for admiration and a sense of entitlement
· They are often offended and angry when their ideas or beliefs are questioned or criticized.
Narcissism is like a disease where the sufferer feels pretty good, but the people around them suffer. Taking to the extreme, this behavior is classified as a psychological disorder called Narcissistic personal disorder. It affects one to two percent of the population, more commonly men. It also a diagnosis reserved for adults. What makes this trait a true personality disorder is that they take over people’s lives and cause significant problems. Imagine that instead of caring for your spouse or children, you use them as a source of attention and admiration or imagine that instead of seeking constructive feedback about your performance, you instead told everyone who tried to help you that they were wrong.
So what causes Narcissism?
Narcissism seems to be higher in cultures that value individuality and self-promotion. In the US, Narcissism as a personality trait has been rising since the 1970 when the communal focus of the 60s gave way to the self-esteem movement and the rise in materialism.
More recently, social media has multiplied the possibilities for self-promotion. Though it worth noticing that there is no clear evidence that social media causes Narcissism rather it provides narcissist a means to seek social status and attention
How to manage the situation when you have narcissist as a boss
· Work on your self-esteem and personal goal
One of the most important things that you can do, facing constant hectic work, is to take care of yourself with quality self-appraisal. Working for a narcissist may be a frustrating, stressful experience, that way you will have to be in a self-survival mode but engaging yourself with a group of people with a common interest, like going for weekend tea party events, or working on a book will be the justification which is independent of your job that you are actually realizing your objectives, especially when your boss is a narcissist.
· Sink your ego
Working with a narcissist can be stressful when you have to find out how to work effectively and not get demoralized at the same time. Well, Flattery can get you everywhere when it comes to working with a narcissist. They want people to appreciate them, and they will believe any compliment you offer. If complimenting or praising your narcissistic boss to others feels exceedingly obsequious, don’t do it. Just be neutral and diplomatic.
· Challenge carefully
The worst thing you can do to a narcissistic individual is to ridicule them, threaten them, or contradict their ideas, or perhaps undermine them. If you do, he will respond violently and combatively with you, and his definitely going to look for revenge.
· Don’t gossip
Indulging in workplace gossip is rarely a wise move. This can be risky when the boss is a narcissist. Be very mindful; these people appear to be suspicious, seeing threats all around. Narcissists actively seek to collect information on what others think of them. If you need to wind up on your job, speak to your therapist, spouse, or friend if they don’t work in your business or in your industry and if your boss’s name comes up in the conversation, be as polite as possible and never put something in the text.
· Weigh the pros and cons of staying
Even if you use the above tactics effectively, there are chances that working for a narcissist will inflict a toll on your job satisfaction. Consider carefully if you want to continue to work for that person. Of course, It’s not always appropriate to quit your job, or getting a new boss isn’t always possible— but that’s a personal decision because we have varying tolerance levels as humans. If you are otherwise engaged in your work, find the job stimulating, and see the possibility of progress within two or three years, staying might be worth the sacrifice. But if you find yourself working for a narcissist with a destructive philosophy of domination and control, I have one piece of advice, “Get out!”
Can narcissists improve in those negative traits?
psychotherapy or practicing can help. The difficult part is that it can be challenging for people who are unwilling to admit the faults and errors of their daily involvement with people.
Much Love
Kim x
